My son’s class has a volunteer grandparent. She has been with his class nearly everyday since September. Her spirit is so sweet and she loves each of the children tremendously.
I had the chance to talk to her one day about her family. She told me that she and her husband had been married for 50 years!! Then she told me that he’d spent the last 15 years in a nursing home. In 1997 he had a stroke that left him severely incapacitated. She also told me that she goes everyday and spends some time with him. Today, I found out that her dear husband has died. I am sad for her. I can only imagine the new grief his death has caused.
Nowadays, people would say that she became a widow the day her husband suffered a stroke. But, her commitment to him continued until death. She is such an amazing woman, such an amazing wife! I pray that God will comfort and establish peace in her heart. Please join me and pray for Mom-Mom T. as she walks this new path with God.
Marriage is not easy. It takes work, communication and most of all love. When times are difficult the only way to survive is to turn back to love. Love seeks truth. Love seeks peace. Love stands firm. Love weathers the storm.
Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. (1 John 4:7, 8 KJV)
a strong impulse or inclination to follow a particular activity or career or
a function or station in life to which one is called by God:
I think of marriage as a vocation. It is something that should be entered into with an attitude of commitment. I believe that we are driven to marriage by God and by our need to fulfill the roles first given to Adam and Eve. This doesn’t mean that I expect everyone to be married, neither do I expect everyone to want to get married. That being said, I do believe that most people are meant to be married. American society places emphasis on “achievement”…college degrees, climbing the corporate ladder, entrepreneurship, financial freedom, etc. Young women are encouraged to explore and see what they con do on their own.
I don’t believe that this thinking is inherently flawed. It is important that each of us, male or female, learn who we are and what we are capable of. I know women who have chosen to continue their careers or their education after marriage. I appreciate and applaud their achievements. But, I am disturbed by the way women who have decided to jump the broom instead of breaking the glass ceiling are viewed. Marriage is a calling from God to serve our husbands, families, and each other. Before I was married I had many opportunities to do things that weren’t directing me toward the path I ended up on. Yet, I don’t regret getting off the corporate ladder to focus on my family. Over the years I’ve heard so many negative comments about women who choose to stay home (including those directed at me) and each time it grieves me.
As I’m writing, I’m confident there is someone reading this who needs to be encouraged. If God has called you to the vocation of full-time wife and/or mother I applaud you. Embrace your life and examine your perception. Instead of corporate meetings it may be the PTA. Company retreats may become a picnic at the park. Frequent business trips may be replaced by trips to the grocery story. Whatever your situation, know that God has called you to do a great work. He’s driven your heart in the direction that He would have you to go. Though it may be hard at times to find validation in the messages you receive from society please know that God is proud of you. You are doing a great thing!
Marriage has challenges. At times they can seem impossible to beat. But, perseverance is essential to a successful and lasting relationship. Even at the worst of times we must cling to our faith.
At his lowest, Job said:
[I do it because, though He slay me, yet will I wait for and trust Him and] behold, He will slay me; I have no hope–nevertheless, I will maintain and argue my ways before Him and even to His face. This will be my salvation, that a polluted and godless man shall not come before Him. (Job 13:15, 16 AMP)
Face your challenges with the attitude that God has fixed it all. Everyday, believe that if God chose not to fix it today, He may choose to do it tomorrow. Accept that no matter how long the wait it is His will.
Job had no explanation for his losses. His friends had nothing good to say. Their attempts at being comforting fell flat. Job had nowhere to turn but to the one that had taken it all away..God. He professed his allegiance and declared that through it all he’d be righteous.
In the midst of the storm don’t stop being radically, faithfully, insanely optimistic.
Not every day in marriage will be easy. I encourage those who have decided to give up take take another look. Love covers a multitude of sins. Abuse is not acceptable….I’m very clear on that! But, bruised egos, hurt feelings, and miscommunication can be remedied.
We must be confidant that God desires the best for us. Sometimes we look to our spouse to heal the wounds that only God can. Other times we treat God like we treat people – we are suspicious, cautious and afraid. Instead, we should be open, honest and vulnerable in His presence. As a wife, the greatest lesson I’ve ever learned is to take my pain to God in prayer.